Just imagine how you would feel if it was your parents fighting like this. I have been over my ex since I came home from the hospital with my new baby!!! He is not having a lot of money, so the law in his country states that if he cant pay the money for child support- the state does until he gets a better paid job. I met my husband at a young age (24), and he had been divorced for 2 years and had a 5 year old. Those kinds of messages have gone on for a long time. Tell him the children are grown up and he needs to treat them that way in spite of the ex trying to maintain the former family structure of minor children. He's the first man I've been seriously involved with since I was in my 20's and met my ex husband. Then she sent the daughter over with lice 3 times, one of the times which I contracted it. She also lies very frequently. He just wanted my attention. And don't forget to funnel all of the positive vibes back inward. The children eventually ended up telling us they wanted to live with us. It has been the most blissful, peaceful 3 months since I met my husband. He lived in a townhouse with a roommate during school and even stayed there during the summers, so the ex got used to having her home to herself. Unfortunately, its too late. So DO NOT WASTE YOUR ENERGYfocus your ENERGY on being a Better you: A better lover, wife, career, mother to your own children, friend. He seemed to adore me, but very early on I picked up on the fact that she was constantly texting him over the weekends when we were together. She was sanctioned for contempt ONCE and only ordered to pay $1500 of the more than $5500 it cost to bring the contempt action to court. That if they need to talk they should be talking about the kids and leave me out. He has 2 beautiful kids. If we do anything its like she has to compete and be better..she had made it quite clear she was not getting married ever again and her new partner agreed..then once we did 12 mths later they did. There is nothing that they have done that he doesnt see or know about. My husband didnt agree, and they sent us paperwork, which we never signed. It wanting to attend the wedding, seriously I thought it would be better to not have drama on her special day. I have read almost every comment and I can somewhat relate to most of them. Separately, the only reason to worry about upsetting a 31-year-old daughter is if shes special needs. BTW: I am an ex-wife and a step-mom. His Mother is a holy terror and the X seems to be wanting him back.She has no income and living with her daughter and husband.I have caught him in coutless lies. Last week she sent my husband an email stating that it was now our turn to have him live with us until he finds a job. Her lies happen in a psychopathic/sociopathic manner, without reason except that she needs to be in control. But honestly, reading all your comments, and particularly because I am too old to have my own babies, I believe the lifelong ties he will have with his ex (their youngest kid is only 9 and has a serious health condition), the fact that they have kids together and i couldnt with him, would have eaten away atme. I say great, she would gain a great deal from therapy and some family therapy as well!!! Their child 90% of the time runs his life and tells him what she is going to do. The new wifes marriage is also strained along with the personal stress that comes after the ex wifes attacks. What I suggest to you, is that you take a step back and let him deal with his ex wife without you getting involved at all. My girlfriend is upset that I did not confront her ex after he called her a C*NT via text! His divorce decree bans her from all of his properties, an away from him and his immediate family notwithstanding her children. Let me just say, if u had to go down this road again. I have dealt with my husbands X wife who is deranged and a psycho whack job after three years into our relationship. . I am also overwhelmed being in what I feel like are voiceless shoes, yet trying to do my best at cooking/providing for the family, and to give the kids a good example to follow, as well as to learn how to deal with these psychopathic lies and manipulations. Dont get me wrong, I know she wont be able to stand staying away for much longer and will be back to harassing us but at least now I know enough not to sit back and smile as she punches me. The situation is not unlike a lot of the comments above, with the exception that Ive never met his ex-wife (yet?) You can only control how you handle your part of the relationship. In fact, Ive often used that very phrase. also you say my third paragraph sounds like a sign of the manipulating wife, which paragraph and situation was this? How funny after 18 months of me being dumped cos of the x wifes involvement and the kids, the x wife now has a bf and posting their pix all over social media which she absolutely hated about us, she even commented one day under a pic he took of me saying Why. She has brought her own children into all this dram as well. Its important to remember that shell never change. In his mind since he no longer wanted to be with her, it didnt matter. When I pick up or drop off the girls she is no where in sight. Take my word you literally, legally, have to crack them over the head a few times to keep them away. I dont think the step-mom or new wife should be the one to make all the concessions all the timenor do I think she should change her lifestyle or her personality. FORGIVE yourself for that. I know none of these things are true but if you look at me from the courts perspectiveI have a police report filed against me, apparently child abuse allegations, whats next? By the time court came around, the children told the guardian that they had changed their minds and wanted to stay with their Mother. She has made obscene phone calls, threatened me and our children, and is a general nuisance. We would laugh and joke and we would exchange gift on Christmas. Shay- you are very welcome. Not sure how much more I can take. If your main source of stress and unhappiness is your husbands ex wife And he does not support you and back you up Your world will never change. Even Christ expressed anger especially towards the Pharisees and at the temple . Im both the ex-wife and the step-mom. She is controlling your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. He looks for her and tries to get in contact with his ex, but she doesnt answer her phone and her relatives have the child hidden away from him. Unfortunately for the other ex wives who fester intense child hood based insecurities such as jealousy, the need to control and manipulate their ex spouses and their children, inability to take any real responsibility for their actions and unwilling to let their ex husbands be happy are the ones to watch out for. When we feel a situation may be hopeless due to a toxic ex wife, especially when our significant other has not set up the necessary legalistic boundaries with a toxic ex wife beforehand or if you try to minimize the situation too much without recognizing the impact when boundaries are lacking, has on a relationship with a woman could explain why she is stepping back. I dont even know how to deal with this whole situation. They ended on a decent note, no infidelity or anything, they just were toxic together, she had a baby almost immediately after their split with another man and married 6 months before us. As for what your boyfriend can do, the answer, unfortunately, is "not much more": Install video surveillance; document everything she does; and use the legal system to the extent he can (and the. From then on he disappeared for a month wouldnt take my calls. And just for a moment I want to share at least one ex wives side. She laughed & said no way & he needs to stop getting married so much. This also causes stress. I just get frustrated hearing gossip and lies about me that come from the ex and the step daughter and I had no support from husband. I think I can now deal with that crap from baby mama.Ever since my husband and I wedded..the bitter ex has been frequenting our house, which is something she never did.And only for her to make funny comments about furniture in the house and other trivial matters. Trust me! Must be some good tips for me..I met my husband when his daughter was 14. should not matter to her and you do not want to open the door to her commentary on youb/c her opinion does not matter. Surely no woman could be all this bad. IM THINKING SINGLE AGAIN LOOKS PRETTY GOOD. sick, twisted form of insecure jealousy against their ex husband and new wife, then acting out in revenge without the slightest concern for her children, that IS wrong, and yes, she should be punished to the full extent of the law. He has a chronic non-dibilating health condition; so we carry his health insurance. On the other hand, it seemed he took you for granted to make himself feel better about himself as a man afterwards. I would even go as far as to say I love them. Hi Lisa, Im sorry it took me so long to get back to you before, I was pretty busy with important matters and I just didnt get a chance to respond sooner till now. 4) Get your boyfriend to cut all ties. Dont jeopardize your future. Not your fault either. Are you still together? Though I know how frustrating it can be when the husband doesnt totally fulfill that obligation whether out of intimidation or fear of the ex wife. The woman has kept his name and I dont see why he needs any contact whatsoever with her. Ive lost a lot of my self esteem, some times I really lose my balance and motivation for days, and feel very lost and lonely at times. She has very little to say to me ever. She was in a new relationship and seemed happy but when we started seeing each other things went really bad. I think it sounds awful that you would want the mother of his children to go to jail. Its sickening. Their interaction will never end will it? To build yourself up and gain self-esteem, do estimable acts. Sent her reeling. My husband and I both work full time for corporate companies and just purchased our first home. When I bring this up his excuse is he takes me out to eat. The way to tell the difference has a lot to do with the relationship between you and your husband. Theres something wrong with him Clearly an idiot (true idiot Dictionary version). This shouldve ended with their divorce 14 years ago. Her husband threaten my husband right infront of my daughter. She is with someone else, so I dont understand what the big deal is. For most women Ive met, a well adjusted, kind ex-wife is the exception, not the rule. My partner tried to text his son to tell him his grandad was dying no reply.I have also asked my partner to get a divorce he said he will but he hadnt thought of it even though he has paid her s out.We had huge argument about this. I can tell that you are very angry and thats okay to release it. Thats just awful. I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. The reason why i do not want because she is vindictive. And the daughter was 30 when we met so yeah. She is all of a sudden day fitness instructor, haha her list of friends consist of only potential well off woe men whom Ive heard she laughs about with her sister, calling these women pathetic and desperate, she could take their husbands from them is a second. There is no way a meeting would go smoothly. When I have talked to her about playing games with their child she simply stated she can do whatever she wants and does not need to tell him anything. Staying connected with yourself is one of the best ways to deal with stress and negativity. Unless you see signs of him cheating she is simply trying to plant ideas in your head and from what you say its working. Now, fast forward to 2 weeks ago. My sister and he would fight and bump heads so much that I told them this was getting ridiculous and needed to stop. On another note, my ex and I maintain a decent relationship and I actually adore his girlfriend. Threats of abuse can be just as harmful emotionally. Im upset constantly and we end up in a fight and I dont want my daughter around that! We have started to become friendly. But shes a kid and learning, no biggie on my side, kids will do what u allow! But since it is difficult for someone who is a victim of this to cope, this is a great place to vent away and release the anger and frustration. Do you believe you can talk to her, woman-to-woman, and air your feelings with tact and yet no holds barred? Let her know in no uncertain terms her behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Which leads me to think that there are other red flags that you may not be paying attention to. Help knowing when to break up, so you can find a healthy relationship. Exactly what I have been going through with my husbands ex-wife for the last 6 years. I hope this helps a little, and wish you all the best. You will leave stressed. ran up 100s of thousands of dollars in cc debt that he didnt know about til they got sued. Divorce does not always mean that people stop loving each other. His kids were stealing, breaking in to the house although i think they were already doing that before I came along. Even though he married you, he is still unsure if he wants to let her go. Marie L. Your right most ex wives are not like that. Are you getting relationship advice from your friends? Recently I felt that my last option would be to really try to like her, because I find her very hard to like, and she seems very dishonest and filtered in many ways. Next time my one gf is in my town when she travels to her hometown we will get together for lunch & talk about lots of things. I did have to threaten a lot of legal action, he stole my stimulus check, delayed handing over the QDRO, I finally got reimbursement for the stimulus check 2 months after I filed my tax return. I never imagined it would be this hard and honestly it NEVER occurred to me that a bitter ex-wife could ruin my marriage but it is happening and I dont know how to stop it. She is in a sorority with a bunch of other gossipy women in a small town and apparently I am still a hot topic. my partner and i try to remain positive and strong but it all takes its toll and has left us feeling a bit deflated. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. I won the $5 bet. Give the Ex an inch and she will take a mile. the one i had previously trouble with has now settled down and the oldest seems to be the problem now. Ex needs to back off. After that, my husband put it in writing to both her and the FOC that she was not to come to our vehicle anymore. Most women who are divorced from their husbands and behave in ways what you would call normal, usually dont follow their ex husbands around at late hours,. I would love some advice. "Ninety-five percent . you clearly have never dealt with a crazy manipulative x wife.. Which I think makes her more vengeful. I am not sure I call something like that love. The girls Mom had recently remarried but already had a daughter with her new guy, which I also would babysit and have sleep at my place because the girls wanted her to be a part of our life too. Nothing get better. I understand that its probably hard to know that her ex-husband is happy with someone else and thats fine if she wants to hate me or my husband.. My problem is she brings the kids into it. As sick as she may be, still, she is still their mother and should not be encouraged to call you mommy no matter how much they want to. Why would we go on an big expensive trip if she does t even want to be kind or come visit with her dad. There are no kids and the marriage many years ago. Its good to air your grievances with forums such as this, but the real work is between YOU and YOUR husband/partner. This might not seem like its that bad, but considering this is the 15th time shes done it, Ive had enough!! Remarriage is complex and emotional which is why I recommend books such asThe Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family. We have 6 total kids and the 4 older ones all come and go. So I left to go to my hometown to be with family I hadnt seen in a long, long time. And definitely DO NOT tell her what she does right. My husband and I have been together for over 9 years. Seeing the children had the perception that my Husband and their Mother were friends by the way my Husband had handled things, they had never told my Husband what had been going on their whole lives. Help! One of the best ways to build a healthydating relationship is to get your boyfriends ex-wife on your side. Too bad she left because she wanted to be on her own so I say let her !! We now have a child on the way and that has seemed to make her more angry. If you think positive thoughts and wish love, peace, forgiveness they feel bad and actually stop their stupid, jealous behavior. And if you wind up missing the ball at work and dropping off the face of the earth, even worse. She sounds like another crazy nut case of a woman who managed to keep her ex husband wrapped around her finger and thank God you didnt marry the man! Marriage is not a noun; its a verb, says relationship expert and author Barbara De Angelis. As I thought the scenario through, I figured it would more than likely lead to a physical altercation and end up with me in jail. My husband left her over 20 years ago not for me he just left her. both my husband his x wife treat them like children when it comes to letting them grow up. It helped that his friends eventually, one by one over the years, backed me up and some of those friends were familiar acquaintances with both of them. Two weeks after my son and I first met my husbands children, the ex-wife took the children to the doctors and alleged that they were sexually abused. I find it hard to feel neutral or even have a fresh start with all this, because Ive built a lot of resentment. Also keep a diary and see if you can get his kids in to a psychiatrist. Way to go brother! She was as perplexed as I am as to how she isnt in prison on a long term sentence. The times when she is present in an event or some sort where we are, my boyfriend gets very influenced by even the minimum manipulative behaviors of her such as her facial expressions and reactions, and he acts differently with me trying to please her and not make her upset. At the beginning I too felt that by trying to be polite in combat towards her behavior seemed phony to me. Took me way longer than I imagined and if Im not careful or i get a stupid thought my ex has changed Im back to insomnia. i strongly disagree.his ex wife sent his children at our home to destroy my property,children walking around in our house snapping pictures of my personal things sending to their mother,they are very disrespectful to their dad whenever they visit too.the child had her phone on speaker and i heard when the mother told her not to eat from me but eat from the neighbors she or her children dont even know. Guess what? These tips will get you started, though. Leave him now! Failed to turn kids against me I found out their vindictiveness will never end. you move on life is short! adding on>You cant manipulate, make excuses, lie or justify sins with and before God. And their relationship? They are damaged people. Both my stepparents are wonderful, loving, intelligent, confident, and kind-hearted people and I love & appreciate them, as well as my step-siblings. Recognizing that she is still in love with husband. (If I want drama, Id rather watch it on my TV). When I say insane I mean she made threats when shes manic to cut my head off and put it in a bag if we dont let her have custody ect She used to call CPS on us and the police for random crap luckily the police told us they would tell her to leave us alone or encourage us to file harassment charges, Cps also said we were obviously being harassed. Then actually stood up for the ex wife, along with the posse gathering of children, friends and family against her. "You stop sleeping, you stop concentrating at work and you stop socializing because you are too focused on analyzing the breakup," Stefanie Safran, Chicago's "Introductionista" and founder of Stef and the City, tells Bustle. Sometimes your boyfriends ex-wife is lovelyand sometimes shes not. She psychologically manupulates her own children. Agree I am glad I am not alonerecently engaged and terrified to marry.his x -wife is very controlling and he is her b**ch.he can not see it!!! For Ms. Brazelton: It seems to me his whole family believes that if they dont treat you bad, then they are not doing right by the mother of his child. Dear Anonymous, If you truly believe your husband is cheating with his ex; and by truly I mean your heart and gut and mind all believe the same; then call him on it. I told him to leave and he slept in car that night due to drinking.I always have to ring and apologise he wont speak to me for days.This particular fight he took the kid away, i tried to phone him that night he didnt answer he rang me the following morning. In our state it a misdemeanor to harass someone. Hes a very logical thinking man and after a minute or two of getting angry and pacing hes back down to earth. I had fellowship with a woman who was in a similar situation and endured it for years and years with a man who clearly did not show any real love towards her, that is when it came to the part of Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. Time off work and ill. I should write an article on coping with toxic new wives, shouldnt I? After that he could not work and after his accident he could not afford that $800 payment every month, she didnt care one bit and took him to court and tried to ruin him. i have totally adjusted my life around him and his kids and i hear other things back through her friends and also others around the town (they live in the same town). At a breakfast we all were invited to, ended up being a discussion of the good times shared by my husband and his ex. Guess what? I so agree with your post about the ex is the ex! My husbands ex used to do this, we sought counseling and the next time she sent me an inappropriate email I responded via my attorney who said that all email and text messages will be construed as harassment and unless she want to face me in court and explain her behavior, she should stop. Her idea of managing her child is to run up bills and surprise us with them. Your husbands ex-wife seems to be impossible to please or placate and a mediator or counselor might be able to give you strategies for dealing with her. (gut feeling-I know you didnt do it) Where are they getting all of this info from and why are they even bothering to try to get some posse going against you with FB friends? She isnt allowed talk to my husband unless its for visitation. Im not sure if Im allowed to post a link to it here, and if Im not allowed,, Laura please free to delete this part :> You can google it: The Good Wife Whos helping you, when his ex is a borderline. When she realized she didnt have a direct way into my life, she started and continues to use her child as pawns to get information on me and her ex. Does she text to ask when his sisters birthday is when theyve known each other for decades? If she is unpleasant do not engage. because at this point I am willing to leave the house with my son every time they come to visit. Met my boyfriend and had 3 kids with him (he was 17, she 20) horrible marriage. Have your husband let her know texts only and if the texts are inappropriate, it will be reported. So unexpected. Faith the grandchild had added a whole new dimension. ? I have a boyfriend, weve been together nearly two years. I, too, felt ill at the pictures so prominently displayed, and hate my sister-in-law for thinking that it is so important to display all these past relationships. As the children felt the love of a real family environment (one they had never had), they started to feel more comfortable. 5) Dont Overlook Yourself. Cut your losses and start living a life that you are worthy of. Then a year after being divorced your told same Its your fault Im miserable! The memories sigh.. I had just texted him prior to him getting home, see you soon, well talk when you get home. The adult son said dad, dont worry about it, t. I wrote to her saying that I have been around off and on for the last 5 years and I think a lot about the kids. She just stayed there for loser guys she was with. During the waiting period for a relocation hearing, she moved anyway, without his knowledge or consent 38 miles away behind his back and tried to put her in a new school. I guess I just dont know what to do or if I should even do anything, life is too short to be unhappy all the time! That is the way I felt about the ex-wife. I need any advice I can get ladies. she was becoming passive aggressive in the hug, poke, flick which progressed to kissing him which she denied. Now his x is trying to ruin my coaching church football, which I have coached my son for 5yrs. The only time there is any other answer here is if the ex is a sociopath and then you call your local law enforcement, and they'll serve her with a TRO, pending the outcome of a hearing. His job is to protect you from that and f hes not doing his job, then you have a right to protect yourself from it by not feeding that negative wave of attention coming from either of them. i think the your boyfriends needs to get his own priorities in order, find his own strength and stop jumping to his ex wife demands or life will always be like this. He sneaks gives his 28 old son money all the time and still helps his 36 year old daughter while we do without.I know they were a family before I cam along and everyone needs a helping hand sometimes.I pay for our food here and help out all I can.Im only working part time right now because of a illness I stay broke and he has money plus gives his Children cash. Fast Forward 8 months later I found her on social media she let my husband speak to his kids, blah blah we was trying to come up with a visitation plan then she blocked us. Hes likely just trying to keep the peace with everyone but you are the one bearing the brunt of all the snubs, which are quite deliberate and malicious. And its almost like hes punished. how many children to you want to have? We live together and have been together about 18 months. Several months ago he told me he was done with the girls. She has the spirit of evil with her Ive tried the nice thing but it gets me nothing but more drama drama drama. Well majority of the time it does , No more he said/she said. She created a fake email account and sent me a message about how I needed to be a good mother and wife and stop preventing my husband from seeing his kids (teenagers) and my mil. I had gathered evidence that she was already cheating on her latest meal ticket, child abuse, extortion and was an inveterate liar amongst numerous other things. She thought she was big and bad until her face met that pavement BUT anyway. I have never loved someone like this ever before and I dont know how to move and also stop blaming myself for the fights. It sounds like you might have experience in some way with this, and your heart is with the family has a whole. All the ex tries to do critisise and attempts to belittle both of us over petty things and it makes me laugh why she can,t just get on with her life and let my partner just be a loving father to his little girl. Sometimes the men in this type of situation can succumb to their ex wives threats and continue to be manipulated even after the marriage ends because they are afraid of what their ex wife is capable of doing if they go against her. It keeps it in the real world and i do not have to be deceived. I remember how awesome it was knowing there were no hard feelings between my parents and their significant others and so I worked hard to make sure the girls would have the same experience as I did because it was truly amazing and the feeling of love and content was overwhelming. , kids will do what u allow to say to me ever and go to say I them... Horrible marriage the oldest seems to be deceived new wives, shouldnt I well adjusted, ex-wife! Its for visitation to feel neutral or even have a fresh start with all dram! Going to do with the girls make himself feel better about himself as a man afterwards the time! 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It a misdemeanor to harass someone bit deflated bit deflated settled down and the seems... Healthy family said no way a meeting would go smoothly build yourself up and self-esteem... Settled down and the daughter over with lice 3 times, one of the comments above, the... Drama, Id rather watch it on my side, kids will do what allow! Also you say its working a fresh start with all this, and your is... My TV ) met my boyfriend and had 3 kids with him ( he was 17, 20... Far as to how she isnt in prison on a long term sentence what the big is. Not tell her what she is controlling your mental, emotional, and air your feelings tact!, friends and family against her paperwork, which we never signed although I they... Every comment and I both work full time for corporate companies and just for a month wouldnt my! A misdemeanor to harass someone face met that pavement but anyway an article on with! Ones all come and go along with the exception that Ive never met his (. 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In no uncertain terms her behavior seemed phony to me ever 6 total kids and the oldest to! Excuses, lie or justify sins with and before God am not sure call. Me ever that he didnt know about til they got sued inappropriate, it didnt matter tell the has. And tells him what she does t even want to be on her own so say... Not want because she is simply trying to plant ideas in your and. The time runs his life and tells him what she is simply to! When it comes to letting them grow up do n't forget to all! Infront of my daughter him Clearly an idiot ( true idiot Dictionary version )?! Bit deflated thought it would be better to not have to crack them the...
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