Dealing with a depressed girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. Hugs. I Got a Secret (feat. I'm just not the same. The one thing that I would ask that you do before making any kind of rash decision is to think about this- if you know how helpless you feel, can you imagine how helpless she feels too? It seems that most of you are wonderful people who would do everything to safe their loved ones, even if you are not sure that you still in love. I know she deals with her own issues and Ive known for quite some time, but I see it more often now. Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, PhD, LMFT, CST By Ash Fisher on June 10, 2021. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. Smoking and drinking! Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. Here are 10 who are holding you down. All rights reserved. If you have trouble finding a professional in your area, dont be discouragedit may mean youll have better luck doing a Google search or asking for a referral from a trusted health professional, such as your doctor. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. Relationships are supposed to be about equality. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will afford you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. Some times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy. when there is more unhappy than happy, its a problem and thats what we are going through. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. Shes 30, Im 26, she never had a boyfriend, nor had sex or drugs nor anything. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. SO IF YOU HANG AROUND PEOPLE LIKE THIS YOU WILL TAKE ON THEIR THINKING AND HABITS MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. Good Luck!! If you have solution, you are God for me:(, I am crying here because I feel you guys are talking about problem that I am facing. But she wouldnt want to talk some nights. Exactly. I once found out my girlfriend was talking to some other guy. About me and my girlfriend! Trying to fix it on yours own either no optional. she is unable to talk to you to achieve closeness because of all she had to deal with in her head so she compensate this lack of connection by wanting more sex (sex is expression of the highest level of acceptance and intimacy with other person after all and you dont have to talk during this action) and when you refuse, because of the depressed state and has low self-esteem that accompanies it, she treats it like rejection. Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. Wow am reading all off this makes me wanna cry, Its like you all know my problems and ive never met any of you :(. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. This is especially the case if you haven't dealt with anxiety before, but suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly. So I fight. Things we fine for few months then i noticed our sex life taking the down hill road. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. Its hell and theres a lot of doubt in your thoughts like is it my fault, Im I the same, can I not make someone happy, am i insensitive. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. And it started to bring me down even more. You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! On the weekends shes distant and will not talk to me, or very minimally, throughout the weekend. This kept kappening and only got worse I had to see him every day and if I didnt he would kick off and make me feel worse than dirt. Get yourself some therapy to deal with the hurt and pain, then move on with your life. I am moved by how exactly you also spoke for myself Wish we could go for a beer. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. I started to seek too much attention, because it felt finally a lille bit good to have this attention. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. There are so ways people find happiness and you guys both just need to find yours and you need to know that one day.. You will. It was me rationalising my emotions. Im so hurt lately, and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt barely talk to me on the late days. I feel trapped in a cycle: she gets low, I sit down with her and try to help her see the flaws and problems with her anxieties and why they are just thoughts, but by the end I feel emotionally exhausted and all she wants to do is cuddle and make up as if it was an argument. At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. A trusted therapist will help you thoroughly explore these questions, develop insights, and create and implement a plan of action. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. i truely love her, she doesnt know if she loves me because she is so caught up with her shit. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. Dragged Down. Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better care than a general practitioner. I am essentially a caretaker now. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) She shut me off completely and gave me halfhearted reply whenever I talk to her. You tend to put blame on you, stop doing this. This is verbatim my situation. Dude, It was new to me and i didnt know exactly how depressed people behave. I ask if theres someone else, she says no. We had ups and downs for almost a year till i realised that she is alcoholic, and sadlly that the day we met (which i consider the most romantic day i had) she had bottle of wine hidden in her bag. Its a selfish decision either way. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. Good luck and remember the love bit. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. Somehow though, everyone seems to find a way to keep going and be happier and that can so be you! Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. I am opinionated and very understanding. I fought with my boyfriend just to feel close to him for a while, to be able to talk. I deserve happiness, everyone does! You can try running Text Recognition on the page (if it's not secured, and doesn't already have recognized text on that page), and if successful you'll be able to select and copy it. I'm not sure how to begin so I guess I'll start from the beginning. There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a bad mood, i can only sometimes cheer her up. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. I also feel now a little bit insecure, because in need he left me and I have impression that it might happen again if anything else bad happens. I can know no one would have got solution. According to psychologist Salama Marine, your pattern could be emotionally draining if "you . You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. I agreed but this has left me with nothing to do, leaving my friends was a massive mistake! The envier. I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost two years. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Its one thing to be committed to someone and another to keep trying only to see they themselves keep failing back into the same pattern. Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. Read the book co-dependent no more. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! Its been 8 months and Im already afraid of how she might self destruct if I tried to end the relationship. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. She was not like this when we first met. You wrote my experience in such a clear and concise manner, that I never thought I would encounter. Remember the love bit. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. I asked a lot of questions to learn what the problem is, all she says that everything collapses to her. As men we dont have an option. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. a) Conversation Its killing me inside as she looks so helpless, vulnerable, alone and she has the face of one of the most beautiful girls you would ever meet. We were engaged. She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. The best I could do for him was to let him go and wished him happy. And Im thinking of ending with my partner since Ive been having break downs and ATM as I see it he doesnt love himself or respect himself and has put his whole worth onto me, through him saying Im the only reason hes still alive and somewhat happy. Lately, Ive been becoming stronger, Ive finished my graduation, am starting to work by myself. I have honoured her decision to sort this out alone. I want her to be happy, and I hope you guys are luckier than me. How wrong! She clearly doesnt love you like one should love another person. I have seen suicide attempts, aggression and erratic and forceful ways of keeping me locked in the house every time I threaten to leave. The more. 2. Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? I feel for all of you guys! Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. If she is not, I would suggest you encourage her to begin therapy, in addition to the medication treatment. I almost lost my identity and values. She is a no bullshit chick that has always been completely honest with me about everything and this is no exception. "Trust is lost and conflict often results in anger and finger pointing." We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. I had a 3 month relationship with a depressed woman and it was comparable to a roller coaster ride at Disney land ups and downs it was beyond this world everything was my fault problems was created and misery was the icing on the cake. All I got is she is just a drama queen, there wasnt any problems to become sad. AND finally, when everything feels fine, she doesnt acknowledge anything that happened. But how is it possible? i feel it but i but i just cant deal with being her friend in school and more outside, i cant do it in school. We had went there to plan for an engagement, but all she had for us was a rejection, simply because I don't own a house. I compared myself with healthy happy laughing girls that my boyfriend meet everyday. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. If you have depression or anxiety its because you know deep in your soul that you arent on the right path or living up to your potential. Yes, "envier" is a word. 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